Holy shitballs Batman! Tomorrow is Australia Day! Dear god what a mess this holiday has become. Is it a public holiday? Yes it is! This year it falls on a weekend though, so people feel the need to slack off twice! Why though? Why do we get to slack off twice just for being in a country like Australia?
A looong time ago in a galaxy far far away (sorry, couldn’t resist) there were a bunch of white guys from England who decided this big heap of land in the southern hemisphere was pretty damn great and they made it a country. Every year we celebrate the fact that these arseholes came here and did a bunch of genocide to make the country theirs. As a result of all these Aboriginals dying at the hands of a military they had no hope of competing with the ones who survived and had kids, well, their kids aren’t too happy about that being celebrated.
This bit is about to get a little racist. Bear with me… guys, I get it, it wasn’t fair to come in and kill the natives willy nilly because this country looked cool. I get that. The thing is though… DEAL WITH IT!
All the big players in the world right now are the result of some pretty intense genocide at one point or another. The ones that aren’t are in Africa. They sit in Africa with no food, no water, no medicine and as many STDs as you can find. Europe 1500 years ago was a clusterfuck of everyone trying to kill everyone else! Asia was doing it before the Europeans, proving once again just how bizarre and forward thinking Japanese cultural trends are.
I understand being upset with the fact that my great-grandfather might have gone out and shot yours. I wouldn’t be happy about it. The thing is though, that’s not the point of the holiday. This holiday was created to celebrate just how great out country was, how great it is and how great it can become. The country might have been founded as a result of a bunch of musket fire but that isn’t what people want to remember and definitely not what I would like to celebrate.
This holiday is for everyone who has ever lived in this country. We had a bad start, sure, everyone has but we’re sorry. The Prime Minister said we were sorry. I’m not happy that it ever happened… but it did. People were killed and a country rose from the ashes and that country is pretty great regardless of that fact.
I will be celebrating. I’m going to go down to the beach because Australia has great beaches. I’m going to be with my friends because Australian culture is very social. I’m going to enjoy a good beer because Australians enjoy a good beer. It’s going to be a good Australia day regardless of the historical racism because what kind of kick-arse country came about without a little genocide here and there?