Imagine if you will, lying in bed. You’re semi-conscious. It’s a nice and relaxing morning, nothing loud happening as far as you can tell. That was me at 9.59am.
BLAM! Door swings open. It’s Dad (what a bloody surprise…) “You need to get up and call work. You need to get a shift tonight.” OK Dad. You know how I wanted to work and said I was going to work on Saturday, and kept saying that? I don’t need your help getting work where I am already employed. I’ll get to it in my own time. I don’t care what time you think I should call them, whenever I call and request a shift, I get one. End of the story. That’s all folks.
But he wouldn’t let it go now would he? I close my eyes and try to ignore him. So he returns doesn’t he? Of course he does! “Oh my god get up!”
I know this happened at least once more. The finer details were lost on me but one very fine quote stands out to me here: “You are redefining the word lazy!” What a lovely thing to say to your kid when he’s still trying to work out which fucking direction is up. Next time he wants to fucking sleep in I’ll poke the bastard with a pole every 30 seconds. After having this damn job for over a year now you’d think he’d know how this fucking situation works. He can tell you exactly what time my brothers have training for soccer or when school ends or when their finals results come out. The system for my work, which according to him I so desperately need? Nothing. Not a single fucking solitary thing is known.
Now normally in the morning my thought process goes something along the lines of
- in a bed
- should get out
- ok, check phone
- and now get up
Today was slightly different.
- in a bed
- don’t yell
- don’t kill him it’s not worth it
- fuck this shit I’m out
Pretty similar I guess. Both resulted in the removal of my lazy arse from the bed. My mood was every so slightly, just the tiniest bit soured, but I was definitely out of bed.
After the fastest breakfast I have ever eaten in my life I got changed and basically stormed out the door. I reported in with a “going for a walk, back in 45” and then I was free. I can say with near certainty I’ve been this angry twice before in my life. It was a nice walk down to the bridge near my house. Cool breeze. Had my iPod, of course. Thought about jumping quickly. Then realised just how many other people I’d hurt. Too many faces I care about. Too many faces that care about me. I turned around and came home.
Dad then says I’m going to go to the bottle shop to pick up some booze for the party he was going to tonight. Seeing as I had just been voluntarily conscripted I tagged along. We arrive and wouldn’t you know it, there’s an electronics store next door. Dad takes us in saying, “I didn’t bring you along for a leason,” after hearing this I call bullshit, “but we might as well while we’re here.” I had been saying I wanted a TV for my room for a while. That wasn’t happening. What the hell are we doing here?
“See that TV? That costs so much right? If you just did a couple more shifts a week you’d be able to afford that,” he says, “You need to work harder and if you do you can save some for later and spend half now on things you want, like that TV.”
“So, work more, get more stuff. That’s how this works? I get it,” I replied.
This is the part where I started ignoring him and his argument that wasn’t what he was saying. He was trying to encourage me to be less lazy. Bullshit! That wasn’t what you said. You said work more, get more. With what you said there is absolutely nothing else you could have been aiming for!
For the record, Dad, if you are reading this, I don’t hate you. Normally I’d agree with your logic. If you’ve read this far you know I agreed with your more more = more stuff theory. But in this regard I am not lazy. There are a number of words to describe me. Lazy is not something I would call myself. I’m that lazy that I walked over 2km to get the fuck away from you when my head was full of shit this morning. If I want something I will go and get it. Otherwise, I don’t care. You know what that’s called? APATHY.
It’s a little different. It’s a conscious decision to ignore things that don’t concern me. I could work more and have more money for nice things. The things I have at the moment aren’t so bad. And I could just work less, not buy new shiny shit and still save as much money. This leave me more time to enjoy the things that I do have. It’s not that difficult a concept to understand and I’ve explained it a number of times. Please listen next time. I will quiz you.
After saying little to each other and making our way home lunch was eaten. Lunch was a sausage roll from a really good bakery whose name escapes me. Sorry guys, your good work will go unrewarded. I then jumped on the xbox and basically stayed there talking to Theta (ex is a pretty negative title. Theta is more fun. Renamed to Theta for shits and giggles) until 6pm. The distraction was nice. A whole new world to explore and escape the beast that was my dad today.
The rest of my family left for this party. Dad apologises for forcing me to work tonight because I was actually invited. I said I was working tonight for a reason. Part of it was this party. I didn’t want to go. Partially because I was partied out. Having done 3 in the past week I think I should avoid them for a little bit.
Made myself a pizza for dinner. Just cheese and ham but I enjoyed it. It was nice. Simple. A result of me working in the kitchen. So fucking lazy I am. Sorry, I’m not letting that go.
And then I headed to work. I have never seen so much toilet paper in one place. That really was the most exciting part of work. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need all the beauty sleep I can get.