Yeah, I know, more french in the titles. I’m trying to introduce the slightest amount of class to my blog.
Now onto the party last night. Well that was OK. Not amazing but it was OK. Guess I should start at the beginning. That last post of mine went up relatively early. Which is a slight problem. Most parties that I have attended, the first hour of that is incredibly awkward. Not necessarily because you don’t know people but people are somewhat reluctant to be the first one drinking. Living is Australia where alcohol is a problem and no one wants to start drinking… how did that even happen?
Regardless people started drinking at 5pm. Well the party was scheduled to start at around 7pm. Which means that as people slowly trickled in one of my mates, Korovashya specifically, was already up to maybe the 5th or 6th drink of the night. He was challenged to drink 18, so I guess he was well on his way.
Over the course of the night, I, like any good partygoer, decided to drink too much. Some of what happened or the reasons behind them are currently under investigation. However, what follows here on is the events that I remember. Probably not in chronological order mind you, but they will be recorded.
The birthday boy had a great time at the start of the party. Having people show up with presents and money is awesome. I think he got the best present of all time. He’s a good guy who likes to drink. So what did we buy him? This:
Yeah, the room is a mess. You should have seen it before. That’s it on a good day.
Later on, I think, this is the way things went in my head. Anyway, later on, several changes were made necessary. The birthday boy needed to be punished for his crimes in the past. What came to be known as Beer Court judged him guilty and needed to dye his hair pink. And we didn’t have any pink. Beer Court decreed that orange was an acceptable substitute and wouldn’t you know it, we had some! So he was dragged outside. Pushed to the ground and held. He was then sprayed. That shit looked like it burned.
Now this is the weird bit. Please do not ask me how this happened. All I know is that it did. For some reason or another I was next in line. Except… well it was my hair that was getting dyed orange. Just not the hair on my head.
Yeah. That happened. There are no pictures. I’m sorry internet.
The next big event that I remember was the eventual decision by someone, no idea who, that chicken was an offence and needed to be eradicated. With fire. Dear god why do I hang out with these people? The damn thing was in a box and, hey we have all this alcohol here, that should help get things going.
Flames all up in here. The box was taken outside before it got too insane, but it still looked like a portal to hell. This was when I decided I didn’t want to be around this much stupid. Fire tends to have that effect. I decided I’d go for a walk. On my own. Not the best idea when you’re drunk. Not a good idea when you’re tired. Definitely not a good idea when you’re head isn’t in a good place.
Still I walked. I managed to hold my head high for a while. And it’s nice to know that people will notice when I go missing. Two of my mates came out to find me. That was nice. Made my night. Especially since I was considering catching the next train (at 4am, what an ungodly hour) home. In the end I fell asleep on a mattress that was thrown on the floor. Not gonna complain, that mattress was so much better than my bed at home.
And that was the party, hope you enjoyed it as much as the birthday boy.